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We have the weekend off!!! (This is from a week ago)

Woo Hoo!

I have never really appreciated days off so much as now. Having said that I slept for most of it, nanna style on the couch.

He has just gone off to bed. He doesn't know it yet but his girl is flying in from Brisbane just for one night. Her boy is recording a music video with his band Dealer. So they have flown down just for the day . . .

They have the studio til midnight tonight so I'm trying to stay awake. Good luck.

Rock Star life hey. Go Guitar Boy ! I hope your dream comes true !

Check the band out if you are into "heavier" stuff. Dealer or The Dealer Sound.

You will have to copy and paste the link below. I can't make a link thing here.

http://smarturl.it/soulburn?fbclid=IwAR18p-WV4MCpTMA2HBarEJB_Ef7jTU1e7lDOWT31YwLbCmUXntJ94rIh2Dk

I am sitting at our dining table, recently cleared for our secret visitors, as you do when people come over. Funny isn't it, you have crap all over it for weeks, then as soon as you have a visitor coming, you clear up. What does that mean exactly? I am perfectly comfortable with my crap all over my table usually. Then when someone is coming, shite! better clean up. Why? because we care what they think of us? I actually don't care what anyone thinks of us. Particularly me. For me it's about their comfort. I want my guests to feel comfortable sitting at my table. So I remove my crap. I know that for some people crap on the table provokes anxiety. Interestingly my him loathes crap on the table as it provokes said anxiety. Us humans are curious creatures.

Did you know that hugging for 20 seconds is emotionally and physically healthy? Scientific fact, just popping that in here. Go for it . . . . I am trying to do this every day as much as possible. Whatever works right.

Yawn . . near midnight . . . Since moving to our forever home we have not watched regular television nor listened to the usual radio stations. Sorry Ian. A recent sneaky glimpse of channel x and we now realise why we haven't. FFS. The world is a mess. Actually no, the journalists of today are a mess, as are the politicians who "guide" them. Most journalists today sadly, I find spineless, lazy arsed and boring, who have no idea how to report or ask the hard questions. When a politician doesn't answer the question, ask it again, until they do. Shut up me.

Here they are !!!!!! not long after 12. I gently wake him with "hey we have a visitor", him "shut up, you're drunk, it's just a possum" . . .
We had the greatest 4 hours of conversation. He was very chuffed. 4am off to the airport for their flight home to Brisbane. Goodbye for now kids, see you in a week! They are moving down here permanently. We are beyond happy. They are staying with us until they get sorted. I hope that's a few years. I can dream.

skip to Thursday night . . . Our girl and her boy are on their way. They are driving down. Their belongings arrive tomorrow via a transport company. We have made room for it in the garage. So very excited right now.

I have not felt like writing much this last week. In the last 2 days the PC has situation has changed dramatically. It caught me by surprise as he was going along quite well. He has lost his sense of taste. Tiny specks of flavours show through occasionally, I try to take note of that, though in general nothing tastes like anything other than a slimey grey mess from what I can fathom. His throat is sore at times, I'm guessing from the radiation. He is much more fatigued and falls asleep in the car, on the lounge, on everywhere.
Because of where his tumour is at the base of his tongue, the radiation hits his saliva glands as well. He has lost the thin saliva stuff that keeps his mouth feeling normal. So he now has a thick mucous feeling in his mouth.
He is not feeling much like eating anything at the moment. We did a big supermarket shop on the way home today, I have everything I need to make smoothies with enough protein, nuts, fruit, milk, yoghurt, berries, ice cream, protein powders, vanilla and plain, honey, jam . . .  and enough Up&Go's to last our lifetime. This is possibly what he will be living on for the next few months. He doesn't want a feeding tube and made me promise, remember? Though after the last 2 days of cooking, binning it, smoothie'ing, binning it, snacks, bin . . . . I want him to have one! I don't want him to become malnourished.
Fuck it.
They really don't like putting feeding tubes in because your body really needs to keep chewing and swallowing and digesting. Our muscles have memories and we need to keep using them. After cancer treatment it is harder to get all these memories back.

I have decided that I have been giving you a lot of negatives. I don't want you to feel down after reading this. So I will share some positives with you, or some of the humorous stuff. He still has his sense of humour. Those who know him will understand how much of a pain in the arse he can be at times. I can assure you this PC has not changed that aspect of him. A few times I have waved my finger at him and said "nope, you cannot make jokes about the microwave that I frazzled being the cause of your cancer", and "nope, just because you are starting to finish my sentences, or have similar thoughts to me, doesn't mean you must also have brain cancer". And a big one, "no ! the nurses are not there to service you, hug you, or come to you baby".
As I said those who know him will not be surprised.

Friday . . .
My adorable and caring sister has offered to drive us in on Fridays. He doesn't know it but I reached out for some help. I had to. If I kept going every single day I was going to collapse or fall asleep at the wheel. Fact. I remember the nurse saying it is important to look after myself too. I'm not. I am changing that.
We met at Mum's and sis took us to the hospital. She came into the radiation room and watched him get bolted down into his mask. She said that this part must be confronting. Yeah it is.
It was so nice having you drive us sis. We all chatted and had a few laughs. I got to relax and I was no where near as tired when we got home. Thanks sis, you made a big difference. Love ya guts.

He went out this morning by himself. I was not happy, however he is bright eyed and bushy tailed most mornings. He needs to keep living. Part of that is keeping his independence and not being treated as an in valid . . . "invalid".
He came back with a big bunch of beautiful pink roses. For me. They smell divine and have centre stage on our neat and tidy dining table with no crap.

Thank you my sweet man for the flowers. I love you millions.

FUPC.